First time sex is never as straightforward as most people believe. In fact, the expectations usually far exceed the experience. For the male, it may be over all too soon, without a great deal of satisfaction.
Lets look at first time sex from both a male and female perspective and how to approach this critical time in all our lives.
For the female, it can be fraught with pain instead of pleasure, and with a quick ending, far from a pleasurable experience. Approached correctly, however, first time sex can be rewarding and fulfilling instead of the opposite.
The Virgin Male
Depending on where his information can from (about the sexual experience) his basic knowledge will be limited to theory and masturbation.
Neither theory nor masturbation prepares a virgin male for a first time sexual experience.
The conversations of peers also can fill the first timer with misconceptions and wrong expectations.
The Virgin Female
Depending on her age, the virgin female may have had numerous clitoral orgasms. A first time sexual experience and “the force of man” can provide many unexpected situations, and feelings.
If her hymen is in tact, she may be in for some real pain as well.
If there has not been sufficient foreplay, there may not also enough lubrication prior to the male insertion.
The female may be very young and also with high expectations. Certainly if the act is about 20 seconds, and all she felt was pain and pressure, her romantic expectations will not have been fulfilled.
It is advised that the couple experiment first with mutual masturbation.
This way the partner learns something about the other’s anatomy, and the stimulation (which can be overwhelming) can result in orgasms without penetration at the start.
This technique can lead into another session (after some recovery time, say 45 minutes) where penetration can begin.
The female should insist (and the male must agree) to use of a condom.
However in a warm-up session (that will almost always end up with a male orgasm), a condom need not be used.
In the second or third attempt, where penetration is the goal, the male’s penis would have been desensitized by the all the preliminaries.
Oral sex for first timers is a good idea, but difficult to be good at.
With two inexperienced partners, oral sex or mutual oral sex may end up as a messy and non-romantic prelude to penetration.
Therefore, unless one of the two partners really have some experience in oral sex, it’s best left for another time.
Time to Penetrate
If the female is a virgin with her hymen intact, the couple should use Astrolube or KY (or similar) that will help reduce the initial friction.
With adequate lubrication (and the female wont have much of her own if she is afraid of the act, even though she is willing. Use adequate lubrication.
The best first time sex position is with the female laying her side, and the male in back of her, with their legs lightly bent at the knees.
The couple sort of resembles 2 spoons. The male can caress the female, and hold her, while the female can assist the male to insert his penis easily into her vagina.
As the couple is on their sides, the female can sort of regulate the pressure, and the depth o f the male’s penetration.
If she feels pain, the female can alter the depth of the penis and even the angle.
Usually the first times will finish in less than 5 minutes. The man can continue to hold the female tightly and caress here, and tell to her sweet things about their experience.
Following the above will save the couple some pain and hurt feelings. We wish you good luck, and hope to what you learned here into your later sexual lives.